The Celebrity Factor

Here's an insight into life with twins:
Wherever you go, it is the equivalent of leading a full-on parade; complete with 10 piece band and baton twirlers. Everyone will stop- possibly stare- or engage you in conversation. Whether your twins are being complete angels, or sprawled out on the nasty, germ ridden floor of Target screaming- you are pretty much the most exciting thing happening at the store that day. I have met a lot of lovely people, as well as heard the passing whisper "Did you see those twins?"...as if it was a big secret.
I am fine telling people how old they are, when they slept through the night, their names, their personalities, if they were "natural" or not, and exactly "how I do it," etc. There are just two phrases I routinely hear that boggle my mind:

1. "I've always wanted twins!" I even get this from women with children! My answer is always "be careful what you wish for." They usually laugh, but I'm completely serious. It isn't like a 2 for 1 sale at Kmart. You actually have two babies- that means buying two of everything, dealing with two screaming babies who need the same priority, well you get the picture. I just spent a small fortune on footie pajamas that would have lasted one kid and entire week- instead, I've only got a 3-day supply. And you are actually raising two kids at the same time. There is no age difference- same developmental and emotional milestones- at the same time. This can oftentimes be less than enjoyable. I'm not saying that the twins haven't been a complete and fantastic blessing- but I would never have wished this for myself!

2. "My mother's roommates' friends' lawyer is having twins!" What am I supposed to say to this? Congrats? Or the also popular "I'm a twin!" or "I have twins! They are now 30 years old, but...." I have no idea why people tell me this. Perhaps they want me to know they are "cool" like me? They are in some elitist club that I am the bouncer for? Whenever I see a mother with small twin children the code is pretty simple- nod at each other like gangsters- while trying to maneuver the double-stroller-bus around the isles.
My mother would practically pounce on people with twins she saw.... anywhere. (even an airport!) And have long conversations with them. Had it been me, I would have bailed on her fast. As a mom of twins, the last thing I have time for (especially in a freakin' airport!) is to take my mind off the twins and the millions of lists going through my head to listen to a complete stranger for any amount of time. But whatever. At least she asked if they had any tips for me- or her, as the grandmother of twins. That's at least somewhat passable (love you, mom!)
It's not like I don't love to talk about the girls- 'cause I will talk your ear off- it's just some of the things people say... well, it just makes me wonder!

One thing that rocks about having twins? Cashiers! The ladies at the grocery stores I frequent practically throw a crazy amount of coupons at me. Awesome. And yesterday, the dressing room attendant at Old Navy gave me a "friends and family" discount- out of nowhere. (Bless her!)
Although Babies R Us needs to get with the program and do a 2 for 1 deal for twins. It's incredibly expensive... even with the paltry 10% off twin-discount.