Medical Musings

Stuff I don't like about doctor's visits:

Bad magazines! I'm not interested in reading Diabetic Life, or Sleeping Disorder Weekly! These hours I'm waiting should be time spent catching up on some celebrity gossip. Try ordering some People Magazines or Us Weekly- Not ten dozen incontinence pamphlets. Even people with incontinence don't want to read those pamphlets!

Pee in a cup! I hate this! It's so gross on so many levels! Plus I can't pee on cue... like stage fright.

When was your last menstrual cycle? I can barely remember yesterday! How crucial is this information anyway? I just make up a date to feign competence.

Please Step on the scale! Yes, I know. This one is important. I just don't like it- so there. At some point I am going to lose it when a nurse pushes the little marker any further down the scale. Or even worse, if she has to move the big marker!

The other side of the glass! Those people are so smug sitting there behind their sliding glass wall. I just want to let you know I'm here for my appointment. Why do I need to have them slide the glass and give me a look like "what could you possibly want?!" They throw you some paperwork and slam the glass shut. It's even more disturbing when you can hear them laughing in the back.

Family History! Seriously, nobody puts enough lines for the crazy stuff my family's medical history contains. I should just put "everything." It would save time.

Closed Captioning! I know- a curveball. But every waiting room I've been in has the Headline News Channel on- and the annoying closed captioning! It's so hard to concentrate! What do I look at? I try and watch/read- it just makes things worse.
Although the all-time-most-agnonizing? Closed captioned soap operas. Pain!