Attention Coupon Shoppers!

I see you there, at the front of the line at the checkstand. We all saw you whip out the book of coupons- the collective girth of which rivals a War & Peace novel. I felt the collective sigh of everyone in line. It was palpable. That is when I started tapping the handle of my shopping cart. And I grabbed a celebrity gab magazine... 'cause I knew we were all going to be there a while. Might as well get comfortable... while you saved five cents on a can of tomatoes.

But then, then you started arguing with the cashier about a coupon. Read your coupons lady. There's fine print. Yes, one whole dollar off shampoo sounds like a real deal- until you read the fine print. You have to buy five bottles of shampoo to save that dollar. But no. You need to have a conference with the cashier about it... and then the store manager.

They need a separate line for you people. Like the 10 items or less line. Called the crazy coupon line. If you have five or more coupons- you get the coupon line. Complete with store manager to tell you 'sorry ma'am, this coupon is for the name brand cheese, not the store brand.'

You can take all the time you need in that line. You could bust out a suitcase full of your coupons! In that line. But right now, lady. I think you owe me about five bucks for wasting my time standing in line several customers behind you.