The Informant!

The other day, while picking up the scattered remnants of toys strewn about my living room, I overheard a news story that was playing on the TV. Our DMV is cracking down on residents who keep out of state plates. Lovely.

You see it's a huge problem here. Only half of the licence plates of cars in the parking lot of our local grocery store are actually from our state. Yes, I get it. It's super cheap to keep your car registered in your previous state. Our registration fees are enormous. I know this because I pay them. But we don't have a state tax. So suck it up, people. The state needs money if you want them to provide roads, street lights, and other assorted sundries that are- shall we say- kind of essential to live here. It has always irked me that I have to pay whopping charges and fees to keep my car here. And the fact that others skip out on this seems like a personal injustice.

So anyway. There is this "anonymous tip line" of sorts to report offenders. I was all over it. And I found one. In my neighborhood. I watched them for a couple weeks. They totally live there. And they have plates from... another state. On a very nice 3 series BMW. This sparked my rage. I got so worked up, I dialed the hotline.

Then I froze. It certainly wasn't very neighborly. (I usually take cookies to all my neighbors- I try and be friendly like that... and to bribe them so they won't throw poison over the back fence to kill off that incessant yapping noise coming from our dogs) A million things started to whir about in my head. It was like I was ducking within the shadows of a seedy back alley wearing a dark trenchcoat ready to hand over the file of "incriminating evidence." It was all so dramatic. (and most of those people get shot in the movies. So that was none too comforting)

...when really I was just on my phone waiting for the beep! so I could leave the information on some poor sap's message machine at the Constable's office. The nice lady of the recorded message indicated I could leave my name and number in case they needed to follow up on it. I passed on that. The idea of that hit the big red panic button in my brain. Should I try and disguise my voice? How were they going to investigate this violation? Would there be a stake out? Would someone eventually find out my identity? Am I a bad, traitor-neighbor?! I read on the blandly colored county website (seriously, people. Lame-o website) this particular crime came with a $1,000 fine. (could be reduced if they register it immediately to $200- but still)

I hurriedly left the address and the licence plate number and all the other information they needed then promptly hung up- exasperated. That had been enough "action" for the week for me! I'm now hoping I don't see any more out of state plates in my neighborhood. The weight of responsibility is just too much for me.