Dude, I Know My Kid!

Two naps after Bunny's EEG, and I still feel like the ground beef thawing in the fridge. Waking at 4 am was rough. Getting Bunny to drink the medication "concealed" in apple juice was painful. (as in I had to use the baby Motrin dropper and force her to take it- horrible) When we got to the clinic, I had no idea what they wanted or needed. I had a sleep deprived little girl. I didn't really know what the medicine was supposed to do. I did know it fell into the realm of "sleepy."

So the nurse came out and brought us back to a little room. A room with a tiny bed/cot, huge computer monitor, and a rickety old rocking chair. This woman expected me (and I quote) to "rock her to sleep, and when she's out, lay her on the bed and we'll put the wires on her head." I should have said something right then and there.

That little scenario she just painted for me? It wasn't gonna happen. No way, no how. I don't have a rock-to-sleep-kid. I put her in bed and shut the door. Adding me into the mixture just makes her fussy.

Also, if you want my kids to go to sleep? You need to give them more sleep. Tweaking out the schedule just makes for a really wired three year old. I might as well had her chug Mountain Dew before arriving at that tiny room. She was none too sleepy. She couldn't keep her balance because of the drugs, but she wasn't having a nap either. Not in that dark room with an abnormally bright computer monitor glaring over us.

This was made apparent after the near hour of rocking/screaming/kicking. I was the only one who felt even remotely sedated. I wanted to yell out to the nurse "just hook ME up for a sweet EEG reading! I'll go to sleep- I promise!"

Bunny sleeps on her tummy. That's just how she rolls. And she will roll- onto her stomach- when even remotely tired. The lab tech- after an eternity of getting the kid to sleep- came in and immediately said "no- this isn't going to work, she needs to be on her back."

Lo and behold- any time we touched her, she woke up!

That is when the nurse remarked at how unsuccessful she foresaw this EEG test going. She had called the doctor and he told her that we may have to look at other options.

HO NONONO! That was not happening. This test was happening. Oh, it was happening! I had been to hell and back, I'd had a three year old plastered to my side for over 48 consecutive hours. I wasn't going to let all that hard work slip away because my poor little sunshine couldn't mold herself to these Nazi Fascists' needs.

I quietly (because I'm really a shy one who hates confrontations) inquired as to why Bunny had to be "asleep" asleep. I knew full well that even if we did get her to close her eyes and lay still, if we rolled her over, put cords and plugs on her head, she was going to wake up.

The nurse looked me straight in the face and told me that at this age it is "instinct" for kids to pull and tug at the head-wires. "well, um..." I stammered, "she might let you do that." I got a big ol' harumph from the nurse. That almost sent me into a rage. I needed to punch something. I was pretty sure the wall could use another window. I wanted to pick her up by her scrubs and shake her while yelling: I KNOW MY DAUGHTER! I'M HER MOTHER! IF YOU WANT THIS TEST OUT OF HER, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!

Luckily, Bunny fell asleep long enough to put half the nodes on one side of her head. When she woke up- there was no going back. She was perfectly still and quiet while the nurse finished the wire attaching and during the entirety of the test. (that also included strobe lights- mind you)

Once it was all done, the nurse commented, "Well, it would have been better if she had been asleep. I guess this will have to do." I glared at her. It was at this point of telling The Husband this whole story he blurted "oh, shut up, lady!" (I'm so glad he has my back)

I was so tired, scatterbrained, and just exhausted from the whole ordeal. I wish they just would have told me what their expectations were- I could have adjusted it for them and told them how it was all going to go down. They needed to be prepared. And so did I.

I was glad as I walked out of that office, however. I could honestly tell myself I DO know my child. Better than any doctor, nurse, or whoever you threw over here. And that made me feel good. I'm the only one who knows these things. These really important things about these amazing little girls.