Phoning it in

Remember when I went all dramatic about losing my cell phone? (in my defense, being without any mode of communication can throw a person into an immediate whackadoodle type craze) Well, a huge helping of poetic irony later, (as in the next day) I found my missing cell phone. In the coat closet. Behind the vacuum. I almost died. Now I had my old phone back, a new crap phone I bought for twenty bucks to get me by, and a brand new fancy phone en route. Too many phones!

Also? I'm sure no one has noticed, but try finding a pay phone any more these days! I was willing to pay a whole fifty cents to call The Husband and let him know of the unfortunate happenings of my phone. However  pay phones seem to have gone the way of the dinosaur- and nobody was paying attention... or paying to make a call from a Wal Mart parking lot.

So my visions of grandeur? Getting a coveted iphone and being so cool and hip? Dashed. With a good dose of reality. (thanks, Husband) Did I really want to double or triple my current bill for this service? Erm... no. So I did it all halfway... and lame. I signed myself up for a texting plan! I can now text! (in theory- still takes me forever to type out things like "thanks" and "meet me at 10:30")

I did not sign up for the "web" plan, though. I'm pretty sure my handy laptop and paying for internet is enough.  My forefathers did fine with much, much less! (pathetic argument alert!) And I got a fake iphone. (free with renewal! I am quite the cheapskate) I'm usually well versed on what to cheap out on and what to invest the real money in. This cell phone debacle has been a real learning experience in cheapness and finding myself to be a raging consumerist who likes labels- and surfing the web at the grocery store... like all the other cool kids do.

I am regretting my fakephone. Or fphone? Maybe i-is-for-impostor-phone? I pretty much despise the new phone. I broke it down to a pro/con list:

Pro: It has a touch keyboard- which I am minorly good at, but still loads better than the hitting 3 four times to get the right letter mess. It's also big- like physically large in size. So there's less of a chance I will lose it... or run it through a wash cycle.

Cons: It has a lot of cool things on it! Like navigator! And Facebook! And the internet! (I got all excited) But all of these things have an extra fee. (Boo!) All of these pricey apps are all at the front too- it took me forever to find the button to change my wallpaper... because it was at the back, hidden in a dark corner. The user manual is NO HELP. It literally tells you how to use the pay-for-service stuff, but not how to change the ringtone. Or delete the pricey apps. Nevermind the user manual is not an actual manual- it's a cheesy CD with a "walkthrough" and a link to the online version of a users manual. I'm sorry, but really?! I am a product of this paperless, internet world- but I'd still like a REAL BOOK to flip through. Turning on a computer and running through a CD along with the phone just seems... superfluous.

In the end, I want to run this phone over with my car.

Also? I find it hilarious they charged us an $18 "upgrade fee." Yes, I signed up to pay you more every month, so yeah, I should have to pay more for that too! Paying more to pay more! It all makes so much sense. Next time- I'm finding a new carrier.