Fist Pumping At The Gap

My clothing situation has been getting pretty dire lately. What with the yo-yo, up and down weight loss/gain, I am pretty reticent to shell out more cash for stuff I may or may not be able to wear for more than a couple months. So I get most of my duds off the clearance rack at Target. It ain't pretty- sometimes my outfits border on twinge-worthy... especially when The Husband notices. That's when you know it's bad. Epically bad.

So this weekend, as I was putting on the last of my makeup and The Husband said "So... do you think that really, um... matches?" I looked down, and I knew he was right. An ill fitting, odd color t-shirt paired with a heather grey maxi skirt, it was questionable at best. I decided something had to be done about my wardrobe issues.

That's when I went to a REAL CLOTHING STORE, not a clearance rack, not a "big girl sizes" store. (with every anxiety about my weight and body type in tow) I noticed that pre-baby, jeans from The Gap just fit me funny. I've always had, shall we say- "child bearing" hips, but combined with a tiny waist, I was always wearing a belt. (oh the problems I thought I had back then!) Now, with my post-baby, most-of-these-issues-are-permanent body, Gap jeans fit me perfectly! Will I ever get the tiny waist back? Only surgical intervention could solve that, I'm afraid. Skin aprons- they're no joke.

I do plan on losing more weight, while also toning and maybe trying for some definition. (I signed up for a running class at 6 am this weekend- let's see if she can show me how to make running enjoyable, and less like my lungs are fighting for escape through my mouth. Let's also see if I will be capable of getting up at 6 am on Saturday) For now, I think I will be round about this size spectrum for a bit, and I need clothes that Little Man hasn't spit up on. (Spit up? It's a special kind of stain, I tell you)

Another huge success I found while perusing the racks at The Gap? There are sizes in that store THAT DO NOT FIT ME. As in- THEY ARE TOO BIG. Seriously- let's all throw a freaking parade. There are multiple sizes there that are way too large! (Cue the high school band and guy on stilts)

I actually BOUGHT things. FOR MYSELF. I even stayed out of the kids' section. (that clearance rack- I cannot be trusted around) I left the store with a bag of clothing just for me. It was weird. And exhilarating. And I still felt incredibly selfish for buying myself a couple shirts and a pair of jeans.

Also, I would like to award myself the title of Sole Survivor as I got to the store and realized I left the stroller sitting on the floor of my garage. So I was carrying Little Man the entire time, and cajoling the twins to get out from the clothing racks, hangers of clothes were dangling from my wrist and I kept my purse from tossing all its contents on the floor. Little Man only broke away and ran/quickly toddled across the store ONCE.  I even got into the changing room and tried on clothes, with three kids, all running amok. (my usual Target drill is buying multiple sizes and trying them on at home, where I can wail at my fatness in private and return what doesn't vaguely stay on my person or hug me so tight you can see each and every stretchmark)

It sucked that I forgot the stroller, but that shopping trip... it was happening.