Oh my, Am I Standing On This Soapbox?

I went and saw a movie yesterday. To some people this is an ordinary statement. Unless you understand that I see about two movies a year in the theater. Most of the movies I see are at least three years old, and when I talk about the ones I like to my "filmophile" brother, he gives me a look like "you JUST saw that movie? Yeah, I thought it was good too... five years ago." Let it be known: I do not get out much. Unless it's to the aisles of Target- because we ran out of diapers.

I went with my Mom to see I Don't Know How She Does It with Sarah Jessica Parker. (and my Mom got all hot and bothered around Pierce Brosnan) I expected to at least relate with some part of this movie; I have small children, I feel like I'm insufficient, and my kids/life are driving me crazy. It was an enjoyable movie overall, except the cuts to a scene of the stereotypical Stay At Home Mother.

The SAHM was always on an eliptical at the gym, perfectly coiffed. She would talk about "vacation homes" and spending upwards of six hours at the gym after dropping the kids off at school. Her biggest problem was a nagging mother in law and making Thanksgiving dinner. Her designer workout duds probably cost more than my car.

While on the other hand, the working mother had dried pancake batter on her lapel, her hair was stringy and unkept, and it was made very obvious that she was the one who had "real" problems. What is with the war between Working Moms and SAHMs? I've seen this trend, and it's disturbing. Each side looks at each other with both envy and disdain. (I'm not gonna lie, getting away from my kids, wearing grown up clothes, it sounds good! And I'm sure the Working Moms are jealous of all the time I spend with my kids- even if it is just refereeing squabbles over teacups and tutus)

You know what MY job is? I do exactly what the Working Mother's nanny does and more... except I don't get paid. So please, do not trivialize the hard work I do, or the struggles I have as a mother. Thank you, very much.

I do not stay at home with my kids because we are lavishly wealthly! I stay home because even with both of us working, we would not be able to afford the childcare for three young children! When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was automatically staying at home with the babies because I compared my paycheck to the estimate for double infant daycare...

I have loads of respect for working moms. I am sure it is insanely difficult- on many levels. What I do not understand, however, is why the Stay At Home Mom is expected to enjoy a "relaxed" lifestyle while also providing homemade muffins for the bake sale. (Trust me, the bake sale would be better off with Smith's cookies- I am a terrible cook) Taking care of children full time is a JOB! I looked more like the stressed out example of a Working Mom, (substitute power suit for yoga pants) and I could relate to more of her "energy," I may not be worrying about business trips and powerpoint presentations, I have plenty of other lists going on that keep me awake at night.

How about we call it a day and say that being a Mom- in any regard- is HARD. We should rally around each other with a little empathy, instead of casting smug looks around the schoolyard.

I swear, If you see me at the gym in a designer velour sweatsuit with my hair curled- call the police; I have clearly been kidnapped and brainwashed.