Capsizing

Have you ever capsized a canoe? Do you know the feeling of unsteadiness of the floating vessel you are depending on? How sometimes you can fool yourself into thinking if you just swayed your body this way or held the paddle out that way it could be steadied? Sometimes that can work. Most of the time it doesn't, and in fact,  just hastens your decent into the water. There is always a split second realization you are helpless, that the boat and everything inside is going in the lake- it's all getting wet. And the climb back into the canoe, especially in open water is going to be tricky. You may just dunk yourself three or four more times before successfully making it in steadily. In any event you are going to look ridiculous in the process and it's going to be utterly exhausting to boot.

Friends, it feels like I'm in the lake. And boy does it suck.

I'm staring down the hull of my capsized boat and I don't know if I've got it in me to keep on with this. I'm tempted to just throw my body over the top and drift around until hopefully somebody comes out to take me to shore. Whose idea was it to go canoeing in the first place?! It certainly wasn't mine! Fine, I'm losing the metaphor now, I'll admit. 

I don't even know how much to go into things without coming off as the weird over-sharing blogger that makes everyone else really uncomfortable. Geez. It's a lot of medical stuff, for almost everyone in the family, suffice it to say. My worry bucket is full, as my Mom put it the other day on the phone. My coping mechanisms have become eating large quantities of doughnuts, licorice, Diet Coke, and then completely shutting down and taking naps at all hours of the day. At the very least yawning an awful lot. 

The kids are out of school now. Let SUMMER BEGIN. The change has been punctuated with constant, unyielding bickering that will undoubtedly send me to an early grave. 

A couple days before the end of school we had an "incident" at school where I went to pick the girls up, only to find the school in a "hard lockdown." I panicked a bit, and ended up having to wait outside the school, in the scorching heat for over two hours while some kind of hostage situation was resolved quite a few blocks away from the actual school. The kids were let out around 5:30 or so. Those poor teachers! Only two days left of school. Saints, all. 

I scrapped my dinner plans and we headed to In N Out for some much needed burger scarfing. 

I will not mention that later Little Man ended up getting sick and we had to leave in a rather dramatic fashion, except oops, I just did. I will be glad to stay clear of the school for the next few months I can at least say that. Drop off/pick up and that lockdown have aged me at least 3 yrs.